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Be creative in your efforts -- you're going to have to work to earn your cougar cred. Don't blow us off to rip bong hits with your friends. And when it comes to the bedroom, the more you can do without making us put down our glass of wine, the better. We love that you're a no fuss, no strings attached, "wanna see my custom crafted beer pong table? Just knowing you'll listen when we tell you to turn it off and come to bed is enough for us.

Here, my tips for cougar hunters around the world: 1. Betas are usually just looking for someone to make them feel better about themselves. On your part, not ours -- honey, we're done chasing. Watch us come running ready to bust an uninhibited move (usually involving excessive finger snapping). But don't try to order a wine you can't pronounce or go claiming you can tell vintage from antique. Start playing games, and you'll be forced to settle for a puma.

If you really want to impress friends (and learn a thing or two on the way), go after the alpha. We've got a very fulfilling life already, and whether or not you ask us for our number isn't going to make or break our evening. No need to flaunt the latest version of PS3 you just bought.

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