When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked.You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player.Early on I used to have a fit every week about what he could do to make more time for me, but at a certain point, after some compromising, you end up just trying to be supportive and patient.Besides, I wouldn’t want the finger pointed at me for having a part in keeping him from doing what he needs to do to get ahead.To your children, just the idea that you’re single and thinking about a new relationship can be depressing and hurtful.It is natural to idealize the relationship between your parents, and adult children often object to the “replacement” of their father or mother. But they do have a lot in common, having had to learn to entertain themselves at a youg age with their imaginary friends Donald Frosty and Kathaleena Donald, listening to Lou Reed at adult dinner parties, going to bars with their parents and eventually learning to tie a cherry stem in their mouths with their tongue… This will do more than put your meals together out of sync, it will affect how you treat each other and each other’s belongings. And they have never had anyone threatening to eat their dinner, so they might chew each bite 1,000 times, use multiple forks, drink water between gulps, or even put down their sandwich to have a conversation.
Perhaps you lost your spouse to an illness or your marriage ended in divorce.
I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents.
Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.
I’m currently in a relationship with a fella the age of my older sister.
It has its perks and it has its bummer moments, but I think dating up in age is something that women should do at least once in life, even if it doesn’t turn into something serious.